When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, it took the astronauts to a Navajo reservation in Arizona for training.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.
The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question.
His son translated for the NASA people: “What are these guys in the big suits doing?”
One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon.
When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, “Why certainly!” and told an underling to get a tape recorder.
The Navajo elder’s comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said.
The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon.
Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing
the translator relayed the message:
“Watch out for these as**oles. They have come to steal your land.”
One day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew walking among the rocks.
The elder, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question.
His son translated for the NASA people: “What are these guys in the big suits doing?”
One of the astronauts said that they were practicing for a trip to the moon.
When his son relayed this comment the Navajo elder got all excited and asked if it would be possible to give to the astronauts a message to deliver to the moon.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity when he saw one, a NASA official accompanying the astronauts said, “Why certainly!” and told an underling to get a tape recorder.
The Navajo elder’s comments into the microphone were brief. The NASA official asked the son if he would translate what his father had said.
The son listened to the recording and laughed uproariously. But he refused to translate. So the NASA people took the tape to a nearby Navajo village and played it for other members of the tribe. They too laughed long and loudly but also refused to translate the elder’s message to the moon.
Finally, an official government translator was summoned. After he finally stopped laughing
the translator relayed the message:
“Watch out for these as**oles. They have come to steal your land.”
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Deadheading crew is not at all uncommon, since most airlines at one time or another need pilots to cover a flight at an airport other than the one at which they’re based. When pilots ride this way as passengers, this is known in the industry as “deadheading.” In some cases, due to weather, mechanical problems, or crew flight-time legalities crews are called out at the very last moment to catch a deadheading flight.
While taxiing out for takeoff, the Boeing 727 suddenly came to a stop. With the aircraft still on the taxiway, the flight attendant in the back began to lower the aft stairway. Behind the plane, a van with flashing lights came to a screeching halt and out jumped three deadheading pilots. They grabbed their bags and ran to the plane.
As they ran up the stairs, the pilot in front continued running up the aisle shouting, “I can’t believe the stewardess got the plane this far. I didn’t know she even knew how to start the engines!”
For a number of passengers it took quite some time before they realized they had been had by these jokers, you couldn’t believe the startled looks on their faces!
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- A New York lawmaker called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I replied, “No, why do you ask?”
She stated, “Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said [FAT], and I’m overweight, I think that is very rude.”
After putting her on hold for a minute while I “looked into it” (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the airport code for Fresno, CA is (FAT) and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
- A Lady Senator called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said,
“Yeah, whatever!!”
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Tower is talking to a female helicopter pilot…
“What’s your altitude?”
“1000 feet”
“What’s your heading?”
“175″
“What’s your speed?”
“150 knots”
“What’s your bra size?”
“36B……..AAAHHHHH DAMMMNN”
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Stewardesses do it in the air
Airline pilots do it straight and level
Reconnaissance pilots just look at it
Stewardesses do it all over the world.
Fighter pilots do it better
Bomber pilots do it with a big bang
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Tower is talking to a female helicopter pilot…
“What’s your altitude?”
“1000 feet”
“What’s your heading?”
“175″
“What’s your speed?”
“150 knots”
“What’s your bra size?”
“36B……..AAAHHHHH DAMMMNN”
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An Air Force pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The Air Force pilot explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any underwear….”
“The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing
underwear!”
The Air Force pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
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Tower: Cessna 310, that taxiway is approved for single engine use only.
Pilot: Roger, shutting down one engine.
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After a particularly lousy landing by the co-pilot of an Australian commercial airline, that co-pilot heard the Captain announce “Ladies and Gentlemen, XXX airlines wishes to apologise for that rough landing provided today by our first officer”.
Some months later the same crew were together and, you guessed it, the Captain did an even worse one. The First Officer immediately jumped on the intercom announcing “Ladies and Gentlemen, XXX airlines wishes to apologize for that rough landing provided today by our Captain”.
The Captain immediately responded angrily, “What did you say that for?”.
The First Officer replied “Remember a couple of months back? I owed it to you!”.
“But I never keyed the mike!”, responded the Captain.
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CFB Edmonton (Namao) is a military field just outside of Edmonton. All aircraft touching down at Namao require a PPR (Prior Permission Request) number, and have to recite it to the controller at first contact.
One day, a Tomahawk from a local flight school announced inbound for circuits. The controllers asked for the PPR #, and the pilot said they didn’t know about one. The controller cleared them right-base for 29.
Tomahawk: “F-XAA is final 29, touch and go.”
Tower: “XAA is cleared touch and go, 29″.
Tomahawk: “F-XAA is final 29, touch and go”
Tower: “F-XAA is cleared touch and go, 29. How many more circuits were you planning on making?”
Tomahawk: “We though we’d make one or two more.”
Tower: “Roger. I just wondered because we were calculating your landing fees, and you’re up to $13,000 now.”
Tomahawk: “THAT WAS OUR LAST ONE!!!!!”
Tower: “Just kidding. Next time, read your flight supplement.”
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